Monday, April 6, 2009

The Makings Of A Heavenly Marriage Monday

Welcome to The Makings of A Heavenly Marriage Monday Series. I am thrilled you have stopped by.

First I want to share that our Series will run every Monday through the month of April. I have asked some dear friends of mine to guest post during this series, so I feel like I will be learning right along with everyone else.

I pray these posts will encourage, strengthen and edify the marriages of those who read this blog. I pray that God's divine plan for marriage would be uplifted. So without further ado let's begin.

Please Note: These are only suggestions that I am sharing that have worked in my own quest to have a heavenly marriage. The Word of God, Your husband and of course your Pastor are the best forms of Godly counsel.

Do Not Compare Your Marriage With Another

Just as we are all individuals in our walks with the Lord, so is our Marriage. God's word states in 2 Corinthians 10:12b " But they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise." What works in one marriage, may not work in another. It is easy to look at the perfect couple on Sunday Morning and "imagine" that there is something lacking in your own marriage. You may think they never argue, never struggle and that they live in paradise. You measure your marriage against theirs, and you come up lacking and feeling unsatisfied. It is easy at times to look at another marriage, especially if you are struggling in yours, and feel you don't measure up. Don't be deceived by the Devil in this area. Your marriage is the one your living and your control lies in your reactions. You do not know the struggles another marriage faces. Some people put on a good game face, when in reality the struggles in their marriage may be far greater than your own.

Do Not Become Your Husbands Holy Spirit

When my Husband first got saved, I failed miserably in this area. There were many times I thought my Husband wasn't serving as he ought to, or giving enough, or reading his Bible enough, fill in the blank. By God's mercy, I learned that God is more than capable of growing my Husband into the man He created him to be. I had to learn, to lift my Husband to the Lord. When Rich, first got saved He made a mental list of jobs in the Church He would not do. He was never gonna be an usher. "I hope they never ask me to teach a Sunday school class", etc., the list was endless. I thought I knew best and often attempted to influence him to my way of thinking. Ever been there? God started working in my heart. After reading and studying God's Word and reading books on marriage, written by some very wise women, I learned that if I could trust God with my eternal soul, then I could trust Him with my Husband. I started earnestly praying for Rich. I prayed God would burn a desire in His heart for His word. I prayed He would have a burden for lost Souls.I prayed He would desire to serve Him in whatever God did call him to do. And you know what, God did exactly that. My Husband now does all those areas of service that He said He would never do, and then some. He also is now the Youth Director of our Teen group. God did a mighty work,...... when I stepped out of the way. See, God knew all along what He was to have Rich to do. I was hindering the work of the Holy Spirit. He couldn't hear the Lord, because I didn't shut up!! I truly do not try to influence my Husband in the areas God has called him to lead. If He asks my opinion, I give it. If I don't completely agree , I let Him know. But I don't lead, and I strive not to influence His decisions. I do tell him I am praying, and I know God will lead Him to what is right for our family.

Do Become Your Husbands Biggest Encourager

Ladies this area is so important. It has been said that behind every great man there is a great woman. I believe there to be a large amount of truth to that. I believe scripture supports that. Look at Timothy whose Mother Eunice and Grandmother Lois, were a great influence to the young Timothy. Look at Hannah. Look at Ruth. Women have tremendous influence, especially over their man. Do you encourage your husband to be all he can be? Do you tell him often how wonderful you think he really is? Do you tell him you think that he is a great leader? Do you let him know that you believe in him? Really believe in him. I am not suggesting that you give your husbands empty flattery. I am suggesting that you pray specifics for you husbands. Every man has been called to lead. He may not lead a major corporation or become a Pastor of a Church. He may not even ever hold a supervisory position at his work, however your husband has been called to lead...... his family. God Almighty has placed the man as the head of the wife and home. "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church:" Ephesians 5:23a. Your husband desperately needs your encouragement, although he probably will never ask you for it.

Do Date Your Husband

Do you remember when you and your husband were first dating? The excitement you felt when you knew you would be seeing him. Do you remember how he smelled? How he held your hand? How you would spend hours preparing for your dates? Maybe none of those things happened to you. They sure did me, and you know what, I still get excited when I know I get to spend special alone time with my hubby. Plan special time with your husband!! I know times are tough, but there are many things you could do that are special right at home. First, greet your husband when he returns home from work. Be excited to see him. Remember he has been away from you all day. Greet him with kindness and a tender kiss, let him know, through your kiss, that you have been "really missing him" . Can we stop here just for a moment. Some people are uncomfortable discussing physical marital relations. The world has perverted sex. God didn't. He is not shy at all about discussing it, and even dedicated one of the 66 books in the Bible to it. The Song of Solomon is a very literal book on the love relationship between man and wife. Ladies start kissing your husbands like you mean it!

Give him what he can't get anywhere else! A whole series could be written in regards to the marriage bed. Don't let the world steal what God created in the bounds of Holy matrimony. You have a license for that. Wow him with your love, encourage him, kiss him like you mean it, and watch the miracle start unfolding right before your eyes!! And don't forget date your hubby!!

Do Put Your Husband Before All Others

"Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband." 1cor 7:3

My husband usually calls home at lunchtime to check how things are going in our day. He often checks on our home school progress for the day and if we have gotten the mail. We have call waiting as a free option on our phone/computer package. Many times a friend of mine who home schools as well, and I would be talking. It would be break time for both of us and a good time to call one another. I wouldn't always tell my Husband that I was on the other line, but He almost could always tell by the tone of my voice. I didn't really think it to be a big deal, as in my mind He was never really calling for anything specific. However that was not at all how He felt. He felt I was choosing her, over him. Silly? Maybe to you, but it wasn't to Him. I do seek to please my Husband and I immediately apologized and don't do it anymore. I take my Husband's phone calls over any others that I may be engaged in. I tell the other person that my Husband is on the other line and I must go. That does two things: 1. It tells my Husband that I prefer Him over all others and 2. It lets the other caller know that my Husband is important to me. Is there someone or something that your husband thinks you prefer over him? Don't be afraid to ask your husband. If he tells you something, take it seriously and do your best to make sure he knows he is your #1!

My Husband and I have just celebrated 15 years of marriage, and while our marriage is not perfect, we strive to have a God honoring marriage. We both work diligently to become the wife and husband God has called us to be. I pray this series will be a blessing to you. I am praying for you.
Blessings, Michelle

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